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Though I’m optimistic and hopeful by nature, this dilemma has left me discouraged many times over the years.How does an entire nation of mothers shift a storyline this massive while individually and collectively weakened by the absence of the very thing we so desperately need?
I’ve been desperately trying to find/make a village for 3 years where I live. Invite her for dinner or afternoon tea a few times to get to know you and the kids. I feel exactly like you and feel desparate to connect with you.It would do much good to recognize vulnerability in other moms, even ones who seem to have it “all together” on the outside, and to realize in a nonjudgmental way, that we all have these struggles on some level. I completely agree that we have to look past our first impressions and initial assumptions in order to create the kinds of connections we’re all craving.The lack and emptiness you speak of is all too common.All the best to you as you find your people and foster those connections.Hi Beth, I think this is a moving and interesting post, and I enjoyed it quite a lot.We’re all dealing with the same issues but fear judgment and rejection from others. I too am from a toxic family, and I do have to wonder that any mom who feels there is not enough support is likely from a toxic family too, to some degree.
I feel frustrated when I hear people say that improvement in my situation is all within my control, because it isn’t.So anyway, if you have any tips for finding quality babysitters, I’d love to hear them! I see the effects of it in other moms I come into contact with and it is easy to see the negative consequences of it in our society.This was a very well written, well said post that speaks volumes to moms who are mentally, physically and/or even spiritually isolated.Its hard to make an inclusive, sensitive argument about value and being a village without acknowledging that many of the points you enumerated above (all really good ones!! As a mother of four grown children, who brought them up without a village, I agree with most of what you write , however the solution is there for all to see.) apply to all women, not just those who have custody of living children. Get to know your neighbours, dont just think of yourselves as mothers, think of your selves as neighbours also.Unfortunately, all the mamas, every single mama I’ve tried to build a friendship with, is very resistant to having my help. I’m so tired of putting myself out there and being vulnerable–in the hopes of making an authentic friendship–and then being rejected over and over again. But I wanted to ask you a practical question: do you have any advice for getting a babysitter? I have found that women are much more likely to ask for help if you have asked for help first. I’ve never posted a comment on any website before but strongly feel like I want to reach out to you.