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You might find that if and when you are ready to let the gang know you’re a couple that they already have worked it out or suspected that you’d get together some day, so it may not be as big a deal as it seems to be in this unsure period.
Letting what-if, worst-case scenarios prevent you from taking (managed, ordinary) chances is a sorry state of affairs, so don’t let fear of things not working out totally eliminate the chance of something special blossoming from your time spent gaming.
The short answer to this question of yours, Roxxus, is that your personal life is just that, so you don’t have to tell your guild about your relationship if it makes either of you uncomfortable to do so.
This isn’t a workplace and no one is going to sue for conflict of interest: It’s fair to assume that in any group dynamic some members of the group will be closer than others, and this is largely why guilds run better with a team of leaders who can more fairly arbitrate any muddiness caused by these interpersonal relationships.
Welcome along to Guild Chat, the column through which the Massively Overpowered readership can band together to solve the guild-related queries and problems of readers in need.
In this edition, reader Roxxus is worried about forming a romantic attachment with an in-guild love interest in case it affects the guild’s group dynamics and ruins the fun that the pair is currently having as platonic guildmates.
I can see why you would be worried about rocking the boat when you’re a part of an established, successful guild, but I always like to remind people that prioritising real-world relationships over in-game guild dynamics is typically the best option.
You could meet up with this girl in real life and not feel the same spark you do online, of course, but this could likewise be the start of a fulfilling and long-term relationship that carried great importance in your later life.
Don’t get me wrong: People can and do have entirely valid, genuine reasons for not appearing on camera at the drop of the hat, but I would be reluctant to move any potential relationship forward without meeting in person first.
Physically meeting can be an overwhelming, potentially scary process, and when you throw on the added pressure of trying to impress someone you’re attracted to, it can be all too easy to put off in-person meetings.
If I do this how do I set boundaries or keep the relationship secret from the guild?
First of all, congratulations on helping to maintain a successful guild that has such fantastic dynamics that personal relationships can flourish: This is not an easy state for many guilds to maintain, and it’s refreshing to receive a submission that isn’t regarding a problem with poor guild setup.
Don’t feel at all pressured to call this lady your girlfriend at this stage: She may well be craving that validation of her own feelings and confirmation of your own, but that doesn’t mean that it is the right time to do that.