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01-Mar-2020 03:37 by 9 Comments

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The main one being that you’re probably a fucking eagle-eyed psychopath to use it in the first place.

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The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.You might think you’re pretty good in bed, but if you’re someone who often wonders just how well you compare to others during sex, now you can check those crippling insecurities with Passion!This app measures how well you perform during sex and gives you a rating from 0-10, ten being the highest, zero being very depressing.Pure is an app for those that want to enjoy Tinder but are too embarrassed or shy to put themselves out there.Or who just want to hide the evidence that they’re into online hook-ups.Keep an eye on them while you’re hoping they’ll fall miserably out of love with their other half with the handy website

Breakupnotifier does exactly what it says on the tin.You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.Picture this – you’ve spotted someone you like flying past in a fancy car and managed to take down their license plate number before they sped off. You can then share your undying love for them and their ride by messaging them – probably something like “Nice rims” and not “I SEE YOU EVERY DAY WE’D BE PERFECT TOGETHER WINKFACE”.They have to have Platewave too, but that’s hardly the only boundary to finding love with this app.What if you’re not rich enough for Seeking Arrangement or Personal Dating Assistants, but still want to bribe your way to a date. “Online dating is a superficial game” says Carrot Dating, but promises “With Carrot Dating, you won’t get rejected before you even get a chance.

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