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28-Mar-2020 13:30 by 4 Comments

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Something in my gut is telling me it is worse than what he has admitted to so far.

Because I needed to feel in control of the relationship to feel safe, it did not allow for my husband to grow and didn’t allow me to have respect for him.We have never had a healthy sex life, until my sobriety.Fast forward to 2 years ago, I stopped drinking, began therapy, became more in touch with me and living my life in the present and commenced on a road of gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in my life.It took a couple days for him to realize I was very serious about my discoveries, and he has since been extremely remorseful, has gone to see a sex therapist and is going to his first 12 step meeting tomorrow night.He is doing and saying all the right things with respect to his recovery, but I do not trust him.To say I was a good wife prior to my sobriety would be a lie, I was not in so many ways.

My husband and I had much more of a parent child relationship for many years, it certainly was not a healthy relationship.He was shocked that I had found him out, but offered only a little remorse.I believe he did so because he did not realize I had the phone records for the year because I did not go into a lot of detail about what I found.no phone detail red flag raised, but moved on with my day 2.) he stopped the mail when we went on an annual beach vacation, pro-activity not his strong suit.So when the following month’s phone bill came and he again pulled the detail, I put on my private investigators hat and began digging.And then he did two things that sent red flags up for me.