Dating someone with a std
Dating someone with a std - consolidating data from multiple workbooks
“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.He sees me as a smart, fun, sexy, loving mom who doesn't drink and who has changed her life. It's also awesome to have a reprieve from the world of AA, which, quite honestly, can be a fucking bore.”And, the cons of dating people who aren’t sober? And, the differences in lifestyle that don’t feel huge in the beginning of a relationship can begin to take a toll down the line.
I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?
I’ve had relationships that I have tried hard to keep in “stasis”.
What I mean is that I like them right where they are…
During her sobriety, Sam’s had two relationships with fellow sober addicts, but both ended because of their relapses. Dating a fellow addict can feel a bit like betting with the odds against you.
Hannah, a designer with startling blue eyes, is currently in a healthy relationship with a guy who’s been sober for almost 12 years. “Sober guys who are working a program [following the steps recommended by AA and NA] are the greatest.
Attempting to mold a man/relationship into being the relationship you want is a losing battle – progress is an illusion if you want something that he ultimately does not. Give him space to step up and be that man without manipulating, prodding, hinting, guilting or nagging him to be that man. No good relationship was ever built on the grounds of manipulation. But ultimately you won’t get the relationship you want unless you’re willing to pull the plug on a relationship that isn’t what you want.
How long are you willing to wait before you cut bait and move on? It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to squelch it in all its myriad forms.Sam is in a seven-month relationship with a “normie,” and it’s going really well.“Normies don't seem to be as self-obsessed as guys in AA, but maybe that is just my experience,” she says.She also finds that leaving behind your addict identity can be helpful.“The pros are that you can reinvent who you are and not just be ‘an addict,’” Sam says.Sam continues, “Dating in the program is obviously nice, because you speak the same language and you don't have to hide your ugly past.