6 vital things you need to know about online dating

13-Dec-2019 15:04 by 5 Comments

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For someone with Asperger’s this job is like a vacation.

For some people this type of job would make them kill themselves.

People with Asperger’s have an intense need to do the right thing the right way. There are a million different ways people with Asperger’s inadvertently isolate themselves from the world of friendship, but suffice it to say that while people with Asperger’s have lots of depression and lots of anxiety, you’ll rarely hear them say they need more friends. The problem is that in adult life your one friend has to be your spouse.

But often they fail to see what that is: Am I doing the speed limit? So if you know you have Asperger’s you need to focus carefully on finding a spouse.

Technically, that’s what everyone is supposed to do, but there are a million scenarios where if you refuse to slow down or speed up, you actually make everyone else’s life hell.

But there’s no way to tell that annoying car, “Hey, you’re breaking the law,” (because they’re not) and you can’t tell them, “Hey, you’re being inconsiderate,” (because they’ll say, “Well, that merging car could have slowed down until I got by.”) You can’t tell that car, “Hey, there are some unwritten rules you’re not paying attention to.” (They’ll say like what?

It’s useful to separate out these people in order to help them.

It’s like separating out people who have a gene for breast cancer.From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled.People with Asperger’s understand the theoretical need for a date for the prom. They understand the concept of everyone has a house and kids and they don’t, but they don’t understand the leap you make to get there – you have to actually want to be close to one person. A lot of people with Asperger’s who are married sleep in separate beds or have sex with minimal physical contact but you need to find the thing that’s going to work for you so you can have that one intimate relationship. If you have a high IQ and low social skills it means you’re generally right and you generally don’t notice when you’re wrong.Otherwise, you’ll get older and realize everyone is paired off and there’s no room for you to have your best friend, because adult life best friends are spouses. So life is pretty good, not for the people around you, but for you, if you can just go with that.So part of getting along in the world with Asperger’s is accepting that not everybody has to have a high IQ job just because they have a high IQ.

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